Today

Today was the day I could sleep late.
Today was the day I could wake up and not take care of someone else before me.
Today was the day I didn't have to change any diapers.
Today was the day I woke up at 5am looking for Baby Man and then wasn't able to fall back to sleep because I miss him so much.

Finally back

I just got back to my hotel room from dinner. Do you know what time it is? Yes, it's after midnight! I stayed up! Congratulations to me. I haven't stayed up this late in almost six months... at least not without a baby crying. I had a very nice dinner with a rep from Biogen and the NMSS, but I still miss Baby Man. I hope he's okay without his mama tonight. I actually hope his father is going to be okay when 5am rolls around and Jack thinks it's time to play "I'm gonna eat you." Stay tuned.

I've Arrived

When we pulled up to the hotel here in Baltimore, there was a huge crowd of people near the front doors. I thought... ooh... someone good is staying here. Wrong. It's the Yankees. There are little kids all dressed in pinstripes with baseballs in their hand just waiting for the team to walk through the lobby. I took out my camera just in case I saw Derek Jeter. I was going to take his picture for Rose... and maybe try to pinch his cute butt! Didn't see him yet, but I'm still on the lookout.

Live blogging from the terminal

• They just paged Jacques Cousteau to report to Gate A10... ha ha.
• A woman walked by me as I was logging onto the computer and stopped to say what a cute baby Jack is. I agreed.
• My plane isn't here yet. Wonderful.

That didn't take long

Right now I'm at the airport, waiting for my flight to Baltimore, and my eyes are already tearing up. I miss Baby Man.

Stroller Envy

Coming up in a few weeks, there will be a story in the Boston Globe about stroller envy. In that article there may be a quote from me. I do suffer from this. I have to admit it. I love my stroller. It works great. It is very handy because my car seat snaps right into it. The issue is, I didn't realize the stroller you have is a status symbol. Similar to an Audi vs a VW... that is what the Bugaboo is to the Graco. I know I'm shallow. I agree. But that doesn't mean I don't want it. But I'm not going to go out and spend $900 on a new stroller when the one I have is perfectly fine. What I am going to do is go out and buy the new Bugaboo Bee, which is the new umbrella stroller in the line.
Here's a link: http://www.bugaboostrollers.com/Bugaboo-Bee.pro?gclid=CJ_a3pq0544CFQhtFQodpFuVEA
Do you think I'm crazy? Please vote at the bottom of the page. I need help.

Take your infant to work day

Tomorrow I'm bringing Jack to work with me. He's really looking forward to seeing where I spend all my time... that I'm not with him. I have some things I need to get done in the office before I head to Baltimore for an event with Squiggy. I'm going to pass Jack around to my colleagues like a little football. And then I'm going to bring Jack's "hee-hee" for him to (hopefully) take a nap with in the stroller. What are the odds I'll get anything done? Place your bets...

For the love of trees

My son loves trees. He stares at them every chance he gets. His Aunt Donna says this might be a sign that he's the person put on Earth to save the trees. It's that or he just likes the trees.

While the Dad's away...

Okay, Dad's officially away on business. Fine. We'll deal with it. So far Baby Man has been perfect. He went down at 7:30 with no issues, I even sat and watched Andy Griffith with him the way Dad does. The bigger news here is that last night BM slept from 8pm to 5:30am without making a single peep! You'd think, well this means Mom & Dad finally got a full night of sleep. Wrong. We were up at 1:30, 3:30 and 5... just to make sure he was breathing! So the baby is sleeping through the night, but the parents aren't. What a cruel twist of fate.
Short posting tonight, going to bed. (yes, I know it's only 8:30)

Missing Dad

Not my dad (sorry)! Stephen goes away tomorrow until really late Friday night. That means Jack and I need to get it done on our own. That really stinks. Jack and I need him here to function. Who is going to wash all the bottles? Who is going to put him down to sleep? Who is going to watch Andy Griffith with Jack? Who is going to clean up our bath time mess? Who is going to "pat" Jack back to sleep when I would normally pick him up? I guess that would be me. And this isn't going to be just this week, this project runs for a month.
A baby needs his dad, and a mom needs the baby's dad too. I've decided Stephen can't go. I'll just write him a note that he's not allowed to leave. Remember when that's all you needed to get out school was a note from your doctor? Those were the good ol' days...

Creeping along

Yes, Jack is on the move. Today he officially did the "worm." For those of you that don't remember the worm, click this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worm_(breakdance_move). So anyway, back to Jack. I had him on his belly in the living room and he was desperately trying to get closer to Chatiemac. Unfortunately Chat was in front of him, not behind, so the more Jack moved (backwards) the further he got from his goal. Needless to say this led to some serious frustration. So all I can think of now is that my little Baby Man will not be contained for much longer. When I was pregnant people always asked if I was anxious to give birth. I usually said no for two reasons: I imagined labor would hurt (I was right) and I could keep the baby contained where he was... in my womb. Well, I made it through labor and now he's close to becoming un-containable. I guess this will just be the first of many times where Jack starts doing his own thing.

Grand Canyon here we come...

next year. or maybe the next year... or maybe the year after. But that is the trip Stephen and I really want to take with Baby Man. But at what age will he be fun and be tolerable. I know already that he's not going to appreciate it. That's an impossibility. We're going to fly out to Arizona and rent an RV, not a huge one, but a big enough one. And then we're going to drive and drive and have fun (we hope). Everyone is invited. But everyone has to have their own RV. That's so I can be free to go to the bathroom when the need presents itself... if you know what I mean.
Did you check out the new picture of Baby Man enjoying his carrots? Unfortunately I think he snorted more than he swallowed!

Survivor is back

I enjoy Survivor. It makes me so happy to be sitting on my couch, all warm, fed and knowing I have a comfy bed to sleep in each night. I'm not sure what happens to people as soon as they get on this show. They lose all sense of modesty. People are falling out of their clothes and some people, who should be wearing a lot of clothes, just strip them off. It is almost impossible to look at them.
The only person I think looks cute naked... is Jack. And that's because he has the cutest Buddha belly in the whole wide world. He's in the 75th percentile for weight and head circumference and in the 50th percentile for length. Hope he doesn't take after his short and fat mommy!
And just a development note: Jack is now tripoding and laughing when you tickle his tummy.

Why do I keep singing...

Stephen pointed something out tonight... I apparently sing everything that I say to Baby Man. To be honest, I didn't even realize I was doing it. "Do you want some peas...," would come out in some sing songy voice. One of my favorites is, "Baby man oh baby man, you are the cutest little baby man..."And if you remember correctly, what comes out when I sing resembles screaming cats. I have to admit, I'm a rotten singer. I don't even sing in the shower or when I'm alone in the car because I know I sound so horrible.

But you know what? Tough luck. I'm going to sing anyway. Jack has never complained and I think he likes the sound of my voice... it's what he heard while he was in the womb, and it's what he'll hear outside the womb too. Whether he likes it or not...

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song." -Maya Angelou

Let the renovations begin...

Now that Stephen and I have been in the new house for a year, we're just about ready to dive into our first real renovation. The victim: the downstairs powder room. We figure we should start small and work our way up. Even though this should be a relatively "easy" job, I'm sure it's going to turn into more than we think.
The plan is to take down the wallpaper, replace the vanity top, change out the light, scale back the big mirror, repaint the vanity and replace the toilet... and voila!
I'll tell you what is really going to happen. We'll end taking off some of the sheetrock during the wallpaper removal process, some random measurement that I took will be off and I see an issue with water at some point in the process.
Also, we're going to argue. It always happens. (Could that be because Stephen asks me for the "thing" over there and I don't know what "thing" he's talking about)
I'll post before and after pictures.
Now depending on how this first project goes, we may work our way up into the guest bathroom. Oh boy...

30%

A while back Stephen innocently asked how much of the "baby care" did I think he was doing. I thought about it for a bit and responded, "about 30 percent." I rue the day I gave that answer. Even though I truly feel that is the right answer on most occasions, but I guess I hurt his feelings.
Basically, as the mom, I get Jack up in the morning, change him, get him dressed, take care of him all day (Mondays & Fridays) or prep him for "school." Am I wrong? Don't get me wrong, Stephen does a lot more than a lot of other dads out there. He changes diapers, puts him to sleep every night and vacuums the house with Jack in the Baby Bjorn. But I feed him (breast, bottle and solids), do his laundry, pick out and buy his clothes, take care of him when I work from home 2 days a week...I think that equals 70% of the duties.
Now the other part I must confess, I do about 10% of the household chores. I basically do the grocery shopping and that's it. I don't even put them away, not because I don't want to, I just wouldn't put them in the right spot!
All right, gotta run, Jack just got up from his morning nap... and I had Stephen go get Baby Man, change his diaper... he's at about 11% so far today... only 19% more to go...

A Jack by any other name...

Even before Jack was born, we were calling him names. From project peppercorn to the m&m, that was before I was even out of my first trimester. Then he was born, we instantly called him the burrito, the little man and Jack the ripper (he had issues with gas). Now we've morphed into a whole new set of names: Baby Man, J.Bob, Jack-a-roo, Jack-a-pino, Jack attack, Jackmeister, Jackie, Jackson, Bub, Buddy and the Big Man. The name Jack gives you a lot of options for nick names... I just hope the rotten little kids he'll go to school with are kind.
Right now "Baby Man, J.Bob, Jack-a-roo, Jack-a-pino, Jack attack, Jackmeister, Jackie, Jackson, Bub, Buddy, the Big Man" seems to have his second ear infection in as many weeks. Every time we try to put him down to sleep he starts screaming at the top of his lungs. I can't stand it when he has tears. So as we speak, he is sleeping on his father's shoulder as we watch the Red Sox - Yankees game. Right now our game plan is to take turns holding him, should prove to be a long night.

Sad News

My family got some bad news today. My husband's great uncle Phil (and he was great!) died this afternoon. He was the sharpest person you would ever meet. He was 93 years old and still remembered our wedding anniversary, when others just let the day pass.
A few weeks ago when we were in Shelter Island we took the short trip to Southold to visit Stephen's cousin Elena (see picture). Her parents (Helen & Phil) made the trip out there. For some reason we all knew it would be the last time we were going to see him. He was so excited to meet Jack. Since he was a retired pediatrician, I was very nervous that he was going to tell me I was doing something wrong... he didn't. Phil had nothing but praise for baby man and looked at him so adoringly. Uncle Phil was a special man and will be missed.
-"God bless his soul." -Phil Castellano

Losing the Baby Weight

I'll admit it, I gained 40 pounds when I was pregnant. Now keep in mind I did give birth to an eight pound one ounce bouncing baby boy. When I left the hospital I had lost 25 pounds. I decided giving birth was the best diet I'd ever been on. Then, as I continued to breastfeed, I dropped another 8 pounds. Now this leaves me with another pesky 7 pounds to lose... which I now really have to do. The baby is five months old today, my excuse of "just giving birth" is getting a little thin (pun intended). It's just so hard. I got used to eating (sort of) whatever I wanted. Gosh, I just love those cranberry orange muffins at Starbucks.
So how am I going to do it? First I should give up the muffins. How about exercise you say? But when the heck do I have time to exercise? I get up at 6 just to get the family out the door by 7:45 which gets me to work by 9... Then we're home by 6 or so, we take care of the baby, maybe give him a bath and feed him some carrots... and then it's 9 before you know it. Then we get up and do it all over again. I try to walk during lunch time, but I've been so busy lately I just haven't had the chance.
I'm full of excuses aren't I? The bottom line is I'm unhappy with this extra weight and I have to do this before it lingers too much longer. I'll let you know how I progress...

Surprise...

In my attempt to feed my child solids... I've begun trying a number of different foods. From peas, sweet potatoes, applesauce... to carrots. Guess which one he always spits out? Nope, not the peas or sweet potatoes... but the applesauce! Guess which one he can't get enough of and actually slurps it off the tiny rubber spoon? Yes... the carrots! I think he's part rabbit. Jack Rabbit.
(Happy Birthday Olivia!)

Feeling Guilty

I guess becoming a mother also increases your feelings of guilt, and this starts even before the baby is born. That well known Catholic guilt has got nothing on my self imposed Mom guilt.
Did I take Advil before I knew I was pregnant? Did I take my prenatal vitamin today even though it makes me sick to my stomach? Should I stop dying my hair while pregnant? Will an epidural really make the baby more drowsy after birth? Am I breastfeeding my baby enough? Should I send my baby to day care? You name it, I worry about it. And the guilt just piles on... and on... and on...
Until you realize, you can't be perfect and you can't do it all. You can just do the best with what God gave you. I think that's where I am today. We have a great baby so we must be doing something right. He doesn't have any birth defects (that we know of) from the Advil or the hair dye. And the breastfeeding is what the breastfeeding is...
Now if I could only find time to go get my hair dyed...

The Sleeping Situation...

When Jack was first born, I insisted he didn't like to sleep on his back... therefore trying to validate why I had Jack sleep on my chest for the first few weeks... okay months. Then something magical happened. He learned how to flip over. Ever since then, he's been able to sleep for a few hours, unlike the cat naps he had previously teased us with.
But all was not perfect yet. He still woke up in the middle of the night wanting a quick snack. To be quite honest, I didn't mind these early wake up calls. In fact I think I enjoyed them. Jack was just so snuggly and warm... and quiet that I loved this time we had, just the two of us. But at a certain point I came to the realization that sleeping "through the night" would be a good thing. I still didn't know how to do this, because I felt horrible when Jack would whimper and moan... and I felt like I was ignoring his need for love and possibly food (heaven forbid my five month old 17 pound baby would go hungry!). Well, Linda, his "teacher", said just try it one night. Let him be. He'll fall back to sleep. I thought no way. He needs his Mom... he needs me to come and get him... he wants to be with me. Um... I was wrong. He just needed to be left alone for a minute and he'd fall back to sleep on his own. Turns out I was the one who needed to be with him. Even now I still wake at 1:30, expecting him to be up waiting for me. He's not.

Another New Toy

Much to his father's dismay, a new toy has entered the house. It's bright, it's large and it's now Jack's favorite. He is truly just trying to find out how to stuff each of these toys in his mouth. Right now he is working his way around the circle, yelling at each of the toys. I love the animal sound maker, it gives Jack the Spanish pronunciation as well. Soon he'll know more Spanish than me.
I came home with this today from Babies R Us. I really shouldn't be trusted to go there by myself, or at least without another adult. Stephen wanted me to get the one that folds up and can be put away. Unfortunately they were out of that one and I had to get this one. Though I like this one better. The other had a circus theme. I hate clowns. I know I should be more tolerant, but clowns are freaky. Who ever grew up and wanted to be a clown? They would be that freak at your reunion that no one makes eye contact with.
Happy birthday Karen. Happy Anniversary Bob & Judy... and Donna & Jeff.

Car... Pooling the Votes

So let me know what you think I should do about a car. For about a year now, Stephen and I have been carpooling. It's been working out really well, except now with the baby, we that both of us have to rush to leave work to pick him up at daycare. If I got a car, then I could do the drop off and Stephen could do the pick up. So I agree I probably need to get a car, but there are so many to choose from. Let me know what you think, take the poll at the bottom of the page.
Thanks... preciate it.

Guess I'll start blogging...

It's never too late... right? I've been obsessively reading other people's blogs for so long now I finally realized maybe I should start my own. It's not like I'm busy or anything. Trying to work full time and take care of a five month old baby. Well, I'm not doing this alone. I do have a wonderful husband who, I've realized, does far more than a lot of other husband/fathers out there. Though it would be nice if he didn't come home from work every evening and immediately start picking up after me. I just need a chance to clean up and I'll do it... just not fast enough to ward off his agita.
Right now Jack is asleep and Stephen is watching some horrid show on IFC about pimps. Does he really think this is something I'd be interested in watching? I like stupid shows... I'll admit I now love Hannah Montana (thanks Lucie). I used to like to watch the news all the time. That's obvious considering my past career. But now, with the baby, I can't bear to watch. Whenever I hear something about a child or a soldier killed in Iraq all I can think of is their mother and what she must be going through. I couldn't bear to lose my baby Jack... what would I do? I think once you have a baby you think of every horrible thing that could ever happen. And boy do I. I'll sit and daydream about horrible situations that will (hopefully) never happen in my life and what I would do. Case in point, I'm driving down the road with Jack in his car seat. I imagine crashing into a body of water and how I would wriggle my way to the back seat, unhook Jack and get us both out before drowning. Is this normal?
Welcome...